Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Why the Kardashians are the Worst Family Known to Mankind

Before I begin this rant I'd just first like to say I'm not exaggerating in my title. I truly believe the evil the Kardashian bestows on the world is worse than any other family. If Hilter had children, I might make an exception. Might.

My reasoning is thought out and I don't consider myself someone that's just annoyed by their fame. I actually hate even mentioning them by name because by doing so I'm only one of the billions of people adding to their relevance. Negative attention is still attention.

So let's begin with how they rose to prominence:

In the mid 1990s, a football player named OJ Simpson murdered his ex-wife. The court case People v. Simpson was highly publicized and is somehow one of the most prolific court cases since the Scopes Monkey Trial.

Acting as his lawyers were Johnnie Cochran and his friend Robert Kardashian. Simpson spent several nights at Kardashian's house during the trial. Kardashian garnered national fame as the man seen carrying a mysterious bag belonging to OJ Simpson that many have speculated to have held the murder weapon or bloodied clothes.

As we all know, the court (somehow) found OJ Simpson innocent even though he's now in prison for later committed felonies. So that's what the name Kardashian is known for. A man who is essentially an accomplice to a murder.

Then we have Robert Kardashians kids: Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, and Robert. You would think it would look a little odd that he named his daughters KKK. I digress.

Robert Kardashian died in 2003. That same year, daughter Kim would go on to become a socialite for her friendship with Paris Hilton and a sex tape with rapper (or something, I don't really know) Ray J.

Like Paris Hilton, I thought Kim would slowly fall out of the public eye as most socialites do. But after her sex tape was released in 2007 the whole family got a reality TV deal all thanks to porn star sister Kim.

After several marriages with NFL and NBA athletes, the family has somehow maintained the fame they started with. All without any actual talent might I add. We're not talking about a family of singers or actors. This is solely a family of decent enough looking women (Bruce included) that people find entertainment from watching.

Recently we've seen Bruce "transform" into Caitlyn sparking national attention and debate. Ze's (that's a gender neutral pronoun) also made headlines for killing someone in a car crash and is facing manslaughter charges. Not too many people seem concerned with the latter part. (Is it manslaughter if it self-identifies as "womanslaughter?")

The youngest daughter Kylie Jenner is known for being in a relationship with a rapper that's 24 while she's 17.

This family has essentially proven you can circumvent any law as long as you have celebrity status and that celebrity status can be obtained easily by getting naked on camera. They're far more dangerous role models than we give them credit for. But you'll still watch them on TV, download their apps, buy magazines with any of them on the cover, follow them on social media, etc.

Even if you're like me, you'll end up complaining about them in a blog only boosting their relevance on the internet. No one's safe and there's no escaping them.

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